Stitch'n'Bitch Calendar

A few days ago I was surprised when I went to check my standings on the Google Ad Sense page. It said $14.44. I said. “What!?!” You see, during the summer months my revenue from the Google ads had cooled off to less than $2.00 per day. This is OK because it costs about $1.00 per day to rent the space on the HostMySite ISP. So a few dollars in and a few dollars out, it all works fine. But $14.44??? What happened? Then I checked my web traffic statistics; they had all doubled!
It took a little while, but now I know that the Stitch’n Bitch calendar featured Knittingfool.com on June 20. I have the Stitch’n Bitch calendar, but I treat it as a book rather than a calendar; a book that I had not yet read. As a result, I was not aware of June 20th being anything special to me. Thanks Stitch’n Bitch — let’s do this again next year!

Knitting Array

A stitch pattern is a two dimensional array. The first dimension is the list of stitches in the row. The second dimension is the list of rows making up the pattern. It should be possible to mathematically describe a stitch pattern. And it should be possible to mathmatically compare stitch patterns for degrees of similarity

Adapting Sweater Patterns for Children

From Stephani G, Marion, Massachusetts, USA (2/28/2007 5:18 pm)
Thank you for being here. I needed a pattern for an ordinary sweater made with ordinary knitting worsted and there you were! No gimmicks, no trendy patterns, just good basic instructions with the appropriate options. Thanks so much.

Comment from Cherrie, Anchorage, Alaska (3/30/2007 4:48 am)
Hi. I located your site a few weeks ago. What a wealth of information. I am semi-beginner and am interested in knitting the top down sweater that you have listed. I have 4 grandkids ages 4mth, 3yrs, 6yrs, and 8yrs and need to make some sweaters as they are moving from Phoenix to Minniapolis. I think I can do the sweater but since there is an addition from a reader regarding the neck being too small, can you give me inforamtion on how to adjust it to fit kids? Thanks. Cherrie

Response from 1knittingfool:
You should measure around the child’s head; multiply that number of inches by the number of stitches per inch in your gauge sample; then cast on with that number of stitches. When making the increases from the neck down to the chest, you will decrease the frequency of the increases so that you still end up with the number of stitches recommended by the pattern generator. You will also need to measure the arm lengths on each child and adjust the length of the sleeves as needed.

Knitting Languages

From Mimi, Lancashire, England (2/20/2007 2:20 am):
Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou! What a fantastic & inspiring site you have created. It has helped me so much, in a wide variety of projects. This season it was getting the right shaping for my rather gangly twin teen lads & they are just over the moon with their new Winter sweaters. I just couldn’t of done it without you & your Math genius! You are the top of my knitting bookmark list! I do have one quick query do you know what the word ‘Baumwolle’ means and its translation into English is please? Best and Warmest Wishes to you from a very happy handknit fan

Response from 1knittingfool:
‘Baumwolle’ is German for ‘cotton.’

From Ocean Breeze, Austin, TX (1/30/2007 6:05 pm):
Haven’t done exploring your whole site yet (there is so much!!), but just wanted to let you know (you are very likely to know this) that you are an amazing writer! One of the first thing I did, I went to you Diary Page to learn a little more about the person who created this wonderful site and found not just your normal diary entry, but a collection of short stories! I enjoyed them so much that I had to print them and bring them home to share with my partner. We had a blast reading them together last night. Please update us with what’s been happening in your life in the last couple of years - or days. I see that you’ve completed your Yarn Calculator All the best to you!

Garbage Can Sociology

I stopped by Bed, Bath & Beyond after work on Thursday.  We are having a house-warming party this weekend so the trip to BB&B was intended to help exorcise my demons of social anxiety.  Paxil may be more effective but Yankee Candles are more fun.


While I was there I saw it.  The object of an earlier round of gossip with an old friend.  We were "peeling onions" over a mutual friend and his wife who collectively have not got the good sense a dog was born with.  Case in point:  friend and his wife had purchased a $120.00 garbage can.  I hardly have any jewelry that cost that much.  And this was purchased by a couple who are on the financial ropes.


Yes, it was really there.  Actually it was $129.00 at the store I was in.  A kitchen garbage can with a 5 year warranty.  When your garbage is that safe and secure is it easier to sleep at night.  Okay, it was an extraordinarily well constructed garbage can and I think it has possibilities:  I can't decide if I want to be buried in one, or attempt a lunar landing in it.  It's exciting to imagine the potential of this object.


Now I can't look at my lowly plastic garbage can with anything but a jaundiced-eye.  My garbage can has become a social statement telling me with every scrap and peel I deposit there that I have just not made it in life.  It is sad to have one's social conscience brought low by such a lowly thing.  I think there is material for (another pointless) sociological study here:  document the correlation between the type of kitchen garbage can a person buys against their social/financial condition.  I bet you'd find that the people with the $129 garbage cans are just as broke and $clue-less$ as my friend and his wife.

How Many Lawyers Can Dance on the Head of a Pin

I found a way to have my state contract and beat it too.  I have a subcontractor to fill in on my contract at the State of Illinois.  Now I am a dirty-rotten-capitalist making money off the labor of others.


Meanwhile I am a contract worker at a large insurance company in Bloomington.  The insurance company will remain nameless because they have too many lawyers for me to risk their displeasure.  I bet the actuarial department knows how many lawyers can dance on the head of a pin.  Lawyers are easier to come by than angels.


My husband is working for the same insurance company.  He has been there for several years.  He has been commuting 65 miles one-way each morning and evening.  We will be moving soon.  So he will get a part of his life back.  Meanwhile, until the move is behind us, knitting is not in the picture.

   
Christmas is coming soon and my annual ordeal approaches:  the in-laws and the outlaws.  This year throw in packing boxes.  Serve with garnish.

 
For years we have had my husband's family for Christmas because we have the house big enough to hold them all.  Then last year I had my Dad also.  It was the first Christmas since my Mom died so I couldn't leave Dad out.


The problem is that my Dad cusses without a thought and my in-laws are just a wee bit this side of being Mennonites.  Among my in-laws, no one is allowed to have a television; the women must wear skirts or dresses and never cut their hair or wear makeup; and no one wears anything except long sleeve clothes year-round.  My father is mostly deaf so conversations with him get a little loud.  I could just picture my Dad dropping a few loud choice words into a conversation with a group of people who wouldn't say s*** if they had a mouth full of it.  Christmas at my house could have turned into a reality TV show.  So I compartmentalized.  My Dad was there for noon and the in-laws for the evening.  And I wore blue jeans just to keep my identity straight.