Friday, June 21, 2002

One Perky Red-Head and the Ants

When last we left our one perky red head, she was fighting off a flight of winged ants.  This is nothing unusual for our one perky red-head except that the damn ants were in her living room.

Initially she feared that this might be an out break of the dread termites from planet Terminix.  However, quickly referring to her much beloved and dog-eared copy of Entomology for the
Restless and the Doomed
, she soon determined that the creatures were merely the Sim variety of ants.

Oh, my God!!!!!  What do you mean 'merely the Sim variety of ants.'

Did you see what happened in SIMAnt.  It was horrible.  First the ants started kicking centipede ass, then they stoned a trap-door spider to death.  They invaded the house.  They drove the family into the next township.  AND THEY ATE THE CAT!!!!

By the way, who would want to eat a cat?  Who would want to be on that side of a cat's feeding chain?  Our perky red-head doesn't eat anything that licks its butt.  After all, you must have standards.

Back to the ants.

It's a diabolical thing when, with the whole bloody great outdoors available, the ants pick YOUR living room to well up through.

What can she do?  They're in her living room.  They're coming for her.  For her family.  Her cat should start worrying.  However, her cat is intellectually challenged (even for a cat) so she will have to worry for the cat (it's a proxy-thing, ok).

It's time to escape with the camper to Lake Sanchris and bomb the house.  That ought to take care of that little fruit fly problem too.

Stay tuned for the next episode.

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